They Broke Up Right Before The Lock Down

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My partner and I have been together for 4+ years. It fizzled out and we recently had “the talk” of moving on and him finding a new place. We were both adults about it, no hard feelings. Then COVID-19 hit and the world halted. Now, we remain just awkward and in this house together for 30-60 more days with no real plan moving forward. Help!

Broken Up, Still Together

Give each other as much space as possible in the space you’re forced to continue sharing, BUST, and be as considerate as possible about each other’s needs, quirks, pet peeves, etc. And I would recommend having a conversation about speeding up the transition from exes to friends. In the before times people who wanted to become friends with their former romantic partners took a break after the breakup; I’ve always recommended six months of little or no contact before reconnecting—or attempting to reconnect—as friends. But for your sanity and his, BUST, you two are gonna have pivot immediately. It’ll be awkward and awkward is okay. Unlike COVID-19, no one had ever died of awkward.

Acknowledge the awkwardness and then pledge to make a conscious and sustained effort to speed up the lovers-to-friends process. It’ll help if you remind yourself what you liked about your ex when you first met him—what attracted you to him as a person, BUST, not just a piece of meat—and even be even more helpful if you do it out loud (use your words!) and in front of him. And he should do the same about you No need to mention each other’s flaws or the shortcomings in the relationship that led you to breakup. Those are fresh in your minds.

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You can do it, BUST, you can get through this.

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Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.

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